July 1st, 2016

theman

Guidelines

I mailed off another story today. The magazine's online submission guidelines warned that stories with the following themes would be a "hard sell:"

* Zombies or zombie-wannabes (seriously, I'm not kidding.)
* Sexy vampires, wanton werewolves, wicked witches, or demonic children.
* Stories where the climax is dependent on the spilling of intestines.
* Stories in which the words "thou" or "thine" appear.
* Talking cats or swords.
* Stories where the protagonist is either widely despised or widely admired simply because he or she is just so smart and/or strange.
* Stories that take place within an artsy-fartsy bohemia as written by an author who has clearly never experienced one.


They really didn't want "artsy-fartsy" stories.